Most stories have a beginning, a middle and an end. Hoarding and chaos do not take such a linear route. Children of hoarders have to just jump in and start figuring it out early in life. Not an easy task I assure you!
There are many things that make life difficult when growing up in a hoarding environment. Sadly most children feel isolated and lonley because of the "family secret" that must not be shared.
It really is a bit odd to me that it is considered a "secret" because hoarding in my observation spills out of the house onto the property, and the non-working vehicles stuffed with cardboard boxes and other various forms of trash.
I can pick out a hoarding house just by driving by. Chances are someone in that house has a serious mental health issue and my heart aches for the people residing in that chaotic environment.
There is hope. There is help. Let the healing begin and know that you are not alone.